Wally Nes’ Blog

Thank bog I don’t have one to a narcotic.
Having to deal with drug dealers, breaking laws and not to mention the mounting costs of such an addiction I am happy with the one I do have.

I miss my Computer.
My baby broke about a month ago and I’ve been without a computer ever since. Well, one of my own. I can use this one, I can use my housemate’s, I can use the one at the University  library and a number of different ones so I have my daily shot of internet, but I am incomplete.

Once I leave this place I am without internet, without computer, without my games, without my comics, without a quick search, without my movies, without my series, without my music and even without the reassuring hum of my laptop fan.

Initially it wasn’t so bad. Let’s face it, cleaning that kitchen was well overdue and I had needed to fix that bike for a long long time. But after a week I’d run out of chores, I just don’t keep that sloppy a house. So . . . . TV? Replace one addiction with an old one?
Nah, TV can’t hold me like it used to. There’s still some interesting things on it, but the concept of having to accommodate other people’s schedule for it is quite annoying. Seriously, there’s two and a half men on together with the Simpsons and then half an hour later there’s usually a dry spell. Also, it was an unpleasant reminder that I’m growing up, most of the time I’ve logged is on Discovery/National Geographic and other things which could be considered educational. I used to be more of an Itchy and Scratchy watcher.
Books. I have a lot of them, but not a lot I’ve not read yet. I have 2 at the moment, and I bought 1 of that last Saturday (I bought 2, but the other one is done already(420 pages)). And I don’t really want to buy new ones as I’m already full on books I will probably end up abandoning due to expatriation anyway.

All of that are just other time wasters though. I could start doing something useful . . .  But that’s just not something I want to do at night. I might look into a hobby, but after spending most of my day doing useful stuff at the university I’m not really in the mood to be “productive” after dinner.

So . . .  hobbies. I have climbing. That should keep me off the street for 2 nights a week. There’s the D&D group, but that’s really only once every fortnight.

Being social then, I had pushed my social obligations to the back burner while I finished all the schoolwork I had to, but that’s over now. . . My social life has picked up, but it seems some friends just picked up their lives and kept living it while I was shut up like that. How dare they.

Long walks outside? It’s March. In Holland. It rains. A lot.

Besides . . . I don’t really want to be actually busy full time anyway. Being productive after dinner isn’t desirable, but neither is being all active and social 7 days a week.

My computer covers things nicely I’d say. It always there when you need it/something falls through, doesn’t mind if you leave for something more pressing, provides light entertainment that isn’t too taxing and plays exactly the music/tv-show/movie you want to watch when you want to watch/listen to it.

So . . . . I have an addiction, but a socially acceptable one (seeing how in the western world it is hard to go without for a great many people) and I want it back. I don’t really want to stop, I miss my baby. Lets face it, the other options aren’t that much more attractive and they sure as hell require more energy. Besides, how will I plan my social rendezvous without google calendar.

No, I will get my computer back and lose myself to its sweet highs, drown myself in its intoxicating virtual waters, float in the ether and plug back into this addiction.

Though I’m gonna cut down on my WoW a bit I think.

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If you are going through hell, keep going

- Winston Churchill

I started this blog some time ago when I was prepping to go to Japan. Covering some of the things I had to go through to get there, some cultural oddities and the like. Then, in Japan, I continued covering what was happening, to me, to others, to Japanese society covering more cultural oddities, TV weirdness, cultural conversions and you continued to read.

Now I’ve been back in Europe for over a year and a half and this just hasn’t been too much fun to read. Let’s face it, posts like this, this and this just haven’t been as funny as this, as amusing a read as this and as interesting a read as this. And I haven’t said much at all about Japanese Cultural stuff in a long while.

Well . . . that’s about to change(Well, not the Japanese bit, but KOREA!). With all my coursework handed in(though not passed yet, who knows what headaches that will bring yet) I can now focus on my final thesis. And my final thesis will include moving to South Korea. So I can now seriously start prepping for it. Starting to read up on what life is like there at different places in the blogosphere (I read scientific papers full-time now, I’m not going to actually read something like that about the South Korea sociological-somethingorother, dear lord, are you kidding?) and getting my first glimps of Cultural oddities.

It’s odd that because Korea actually is a lot like Japan in a lot of aspects not everything strikes me as odd as it would some of my readers.

BUT

Let me start you off with . . . .

Dun

Dun

DUUUUUUUUUUUUN

FAN OF  DEATH

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“Pffft, English. Who needs that? I’m never going to England.”

- Homer Simpson

I’m back in Biarritz with the grandparents of Raphaelle.

I find myself remembering the last time I was here quite vividly. As a matter of fact it seems mere weeks ago that I was here.
How is that possible, it has been over 3 months since I last set foot here.

Thinking about it I can think of a couple of things that have happened since I last came here. I got my BSc, I went to Vienna . . .  but most of all I have been at school. Lots of school. Apart from a couple of sections of day where the network of school was out and some weekends absolutely necessary to maintain sanity I have been at school every day for that last 3 months and more. Not just limited to weekdays either. I have spent a fair number of Saturdays and Sundays there aswell. It started as regular 9 – 5 work but has since then grown into 8:30 to often past 19:00. And it is starting to frighten me. I am not done with schoolwork yet and have months to go yet on my thesis even after my final assignments have been handed in. I am feeling the strain and I can see where the cracks are appearing.

I have mentioned the weekends absolutely necessary to maintain sanity. They have been filled with anything to take my mind of the unfinished workload I have sitting at school. No watching TV, because it leaves too much time to think. I engage 2 or 3 different forms of entertainment simultaneously in order to relax. A book will have to be very well written indeed not to let my mind wander to my work these days. What I want to do is come home and switch off my brain to coast, but I need to keep myself busy in order not to regress to my MATLAB code. And despite all of that I find myself doing lit research more often after 21:00 than I care to admit.

A lot has happened in since I last was here, but I can’t feel it. It’s been one long haul, and while I have tried to relax I have to conclude I can’t. I need to finish this, need to finish school. I need to get this over and done with so I can dial back the pace of my life. After school there’s a career, which is obviously not the best time to dial back. What the hell am I supposed to do about this crap? Screwed if I do, screwed if I don’t.

Besides the Vienna thing and closing off the BSc another thing has happened in these last few months. I seem to have lost a good friend. Though I don’t know why, he hasn’t told me. One day he didn’t come to my birthday and I haven’t heard from him since. I think that was significant. I need more social interaction than I am getting, and Raph can’t fill that hole due to the whole Long-Distance thing. I am trying to hold on to my other dear friend, but I am not giving myself the time to do it properly. I will need to change before I tear myself apart.

But for now I will try to truly relax. I have tried this before so I have my doubts about it working, but I will try. So far I am too obsessed with trying to get the verification for my new version of MATLAB done though. For some reason it won’t verify which means I can’t do my work here. And I definitely can’t voluntarily not do the work if it isn’t even possible to do the work if I wanted to. That doesn’t mean I’m relaxing, that means I’m forced to do nothing. Which is something completely different.

Now I know it’s been a long time since I was here because last time I was here I got a sunburn while surfing. A notable difference with the frozen wasteland I just behind. Clear indicator of time past. It is, however, not the only indicator. People are celebrating Christmas all around me, indeed I have my first gifts in my possession already. But I can’t help but not feel the actual Christmas spirit. I am stuck in Emotional October. It can’t nearly be December yet. When I pulled out of my studies long enough to take stock last week I found it was already far too late to plan anything efficiently. Thanks to my girlfriend I am here though, someone around me is rooted in the correct time-frame that can steer me a little bit.

Hell, it is now even possible to see my mental pre-occupation now. Due to 6 days of not getting around to shaving I now sport a beard. I could just shave it, but that requires time and I’m not prepared to use time for that.

Now, it is not to say that I am here wholly lost and overworked. I would not be myself if I couldn’t draw back from my current predicament to know I am in a pretty good state. School is drawing to an end, I have the love of a beautiful woman and I’m not nuts/sick/schizophrenic/etc.

But right now I’m just so tired. And I can’t go to sleep till I say so.

So while I don’t really fully comprehend what is happening around me I will leave you with a “Merry Christmas”/”Happy Chanukah”/”Happy Solstice”/”Happy Isaac Newton Day”/”God Jul”/”Happy Holidays” and an alcohol soaked new year to you all.

Wally

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Quote of the day:

Too fucking busy, and vice versa

- Dorothy Parker

This was the status of my overview of grades this morning. 2 months after finishing my last course the people at administrations have finally caught up. (No, I was still 4 credits short Friday)

In related news I have yet to receive official word that I have finished it.

Nor have I been invited to come pick it up.

Also, it still doesn’t show any progress in my master.

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People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children

- Bill Watterson

Over the last 4 days we’ve had the opportunity to see some great healthcare being performed.

Fans will have undoubtedly enjoyed counting the toilet rolls snorted in to, the vomiting, the chills and the fevers. As well as watched, with fascination, the many hours of fevered sleep.

Last night, a 3 degree temperature difference was measured and this new boundary now stands. As we go in to the 5th day of this illness. Will we see this record shattered? Will we be going to the doctor? Or will we even make a visit to the emergency room?

Stay tuned and don’t miss anything of The Sick Girlfriend Saga.

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Last night as we recorded the 3 degree temperature difference (36.6 – 39.6 orally), indicating a 40 degree core body temperature we called the emergency line. 40 for me, is kind of a red flag.
The lady at the other end of the line, who during this flu epidemic must receive 50 such calls a night, calmly spoke to Raph and explained that we only had to worry if the fever lasted longer than 5 days, the fever reached 42 or she developed problems breathing. Considering all her airways are clogged with mucus of assorted colours we have been upon the last one for some days now, but apparently that does not count.
I went to buy more fruits, vegetables, vitamins and paracetamol (4 days of max dose gets you through those fast. But according to the nice phone lady the max is 4, not 3 grams of paracetamol per day) this morning. Should have enough to last us a few days and perhaps long enough to see me into the first 2 days of when I have this illness.
Laying next to a sick person for 5 days is bound to have consequences.

The last months have seen me working toward a specific goal. And I was fortunately able to reach that goal and end that part of my life. My BSc is in the bag.  The official status is as of yet still undetermined, but it’s in the bag.
This coincided with another change in my life.
I lost my job, a part time something I only used to cover my rent, but still a place I have spent 7 years of my life.

I have been going to school pretty much full time as far back as I can remember (excluding my gap year) and I have had a job besides that since about . . . 14. A paper route. That’s the last 15 years. I still go to school, as I still have a Master to finish. But I haven’t gotten a new job yet.

It’s an odd experience. It feels like the end of an era, though of course it is not nearly that impressive. I have been experiencing an odd feeling and have been unable to get much in the way of inspiration to finish what still needs to  be finished. Things still get done, as a matter of fact I have finished 2 more courses required for my diploma, leaving only 2 and the final thesis work (for which I may have a proper offer btw, I may write something about it after the 2nd meeting this Wednesday), but I am not really feeling the drive.

It’s probably something to do with having been driven so hard for the last 6 months. I have been unable to support a base of social activities outside of school to the level I really want and being this close to leaving to Korea I haven’t felt like making any new starts. The initial drive gone and the time-filler of the job gone, this has left me in a sort of still water. Adventure and wild seas are just on the horizon, but for now things are quite stagnant. I’m not sure I’m enjoying the experience much. But, like stated above, change is on the horizon. Moving to Korea will be an adventure in itself. The thesis work looks to be exciting and rewarding. Leaving friends will be painful and making new ones will be interesting. It’s just the time waiting for it is awkward to fill. I am stuck between one cycle of life and waiting for the next to begin.

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Sanity calms, but madness is more interesting

- John Russel