Writing prompt “Do you still believe in God?” said the Creature to the astronaut.

“Euhm . . . hi”. Smooth Johnny, real smooth. I know there’s a protocol for this sort of thing but right now I really can’t remember the damn thing.

I extend my hand “John Lindgren” I state, breaking out into a performance smile “of euhm . . . Earth” I follow up rather weakly.

“Hello commander Lindgren” it says in very passable English. The being standing on my dash measured about 20 cm, was covered in green scales with bright feathers at several extremities, 6 of which appeared to be arms/legs and appeared to be of . . . the reptile kingdom? It had appeared there some 20 seconds after the giant Sphere appeared off my port bow.

It walks up and its tiny paw grabs my hand and shakes it. “I am known as” and he lets out a hissed sound sorta like “Raaaah”.

“You euhm . . . Earth as in the 3rd planet in this solar system. It’s just a name we gave it, it’s a lot more than just earth. It actually has a mostly iron core” SHUT. UP. You blathering idiot.

“Yes, we know, thank you.” He walked around the dash a bit looking around. “Nice ship” He pushed his head through the top of it for a second and pulled back out “semi-conductors, liquid crystal and a fair bit of copper.” His head went sort of up and down which in a human might have been an indicator of agreement, but who knows what it would mean to a . . . Raaaah. “Oh, this is a projection btw. No harm will come to your machine”

He stopped his pacing and faced me again. “You’ve come a long way”

Should I be patching this through to Earth? I pressed a button and opened a channel. “Euhm yeah. This is my . . . 3rd time around so that’d be about 2 million kilometers.” I answered the thing. “If that’s what you were asking”. “Guys, you should take a look at some of the feeds of the cockpit. And if you can see off the port bow there is something there that will blow your mind.” Jezus. Readings had just come in, that thing had a 21.5 km radius.

It tilted its head.

“Sorry, I opened a channel to Earth to document this.” Its head tilted further. “You don’t mind, do you?”

There was a sound coming from the back of its throat. “Hmmmm, I suppose not. I had hoped to talk to you in private first, but we were prepared for this happening eventually. We did approach you on the other side of your satellite for a reason though.”
“Hello Earth” it spoke into thin air. “I see you have an artificial satellite to bounce that signal off.” It looked at me again. “Impressive.”

“Well, commander. You’ve prospered it seems. Worked your way out of the dirt, developed a high enough technology to travel here.”
“Tell me, do you still believe in god?”

“I euhm . . .” Wait, what? Damnit, the protocol didn’t mention anything about this. It just had some standard phrases or something and you were supposed to smile. NO, DON’T SMILE. Showing teeth is like the universal sign for aggression.
I immediately toned down on the stupid grin that has been on my face for the last minute or so and fold my lips over any teeth I might have been showing. “No, not really. My grandparents were . . . Christian of some sort I think . . .” I trailed off rather lamely.

“Not you personally” countered the thing. “I meant your kind in general”

“I think most of us believe in something or other. A third of the population believes in the Abrahamic god of some denomination or other and there’s Hinduism and some other polytheistic ones . . . I guess. But more and more people are coming about to a more rational standpoint.” Its head started swaying from side to side. “How about some help over there, not trained for this” I hissed in the microphone meant for home.

“Hmmmm, well, we have been gone a long time”

. . . .

The brain froze. It just. WHAT?

“Well, we’re back now. Here to make things right. Sorry it took so long. Politics”                it held 2 of its front appendages apart and if it was human that would definitely have been a shrug.

“You were . . .” I tried. “You are . . .“ I moved my arms about trying to make up for the lack of articulation.

“GOD?” It spoke

“You’re Jesus?” It tilted its head again “I mean Yahweh, Allah or, or, or thingy that third one?” Earth was coming in now, questions were coming through, but I had a hard time hearing them. There may be a Protocol written somewhere about how to deal with aliens that I don’t remember, but I know that if God talks to your face you pay the fuck attention.

“Oh no. I don’t know about those.” It rested itself on its rear 4 appendages and pressed 2 others together in such a way that the little digits touched.

“Right, same deal as last time. One chosen people and they get the might to enslave the rest of the world. One guy to talk to, less hassle for us you see.”

“70% of the proceeds and resources go to us, of course. Not to mention first picks among virgins.”

He broke out into a smile, with little projected teeth blinking broadly in the LED light.

“And since we like you we’ll give your kingdom first bid.”

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This writing prompt showed up over a week ago here:

http://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/36hj3m/wp_do_you_still_believe_in_god_said_the_creature/

I wrote it fairly soon, but ended up not posting it because I was distracted with other things. Since you don’t get karma on these things if you post it a lot later I thought I might as well post it here instead. Feel free to read other entries in the link above.

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